I’m not normally inclined to write a straight review on here (Saw game aside, shut up!) but I feel I have to give fair defense to a move I enjoyed, even if the elitists didn’t. Clash of the Titans. A remake of a classic. Now while it never hits the lofty heights of the original (and fair few things do) the amount of flak it takes is a little bit harsh. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a “good” movie. It’s obvious that when the end credits start Sam “Ruiner of Movies” Worthington will have beaten down anything that looked at him funny, gotten the girl (the not at all lovely Gemma Arterton, I’d never dream of looking at her twice, love you gorgeous, and remember she had to shit in a bucket in alice Creed, a movie you firmly guessed the twist in cuz you’re awesome. Ahem…) and glowered at Zeus while uttering something about how the gods betrayed him and so on. But it’s a fun movie. Massive scorpions? Fun. Medusa? Terrifying-ish. The gods? Ruled by Liam Neeson. Point is, this move never made any pretensions of being good. It did however tap into the little bit marked Ridiculous 12 year old fun. And this is the thing. This is why the people who didn’t enjoy it… didn’t enjoy it. It harkens back to a time when you could run around with a bedsheet, pretending to be some kind of ancient warrior. It was a time when the majority of your knowledge of the ancient Greeks stemmed from the Disney butchering of Hercules and the Horrible Histories books. And while some of those people grew up, some of them just got old enough to buy the God of War games. Which by and large was the template for this CotT remake. Just without the blood, god killing and angry atheist. Okay, angry interesting atheist. Kratos is an infinitely more entertaining protagonist than Sam Worthington could have ever made Perseus. Now Iknow I’m not really fighting this movie’s corner all too well, but the point is, strip away the awful lead character, and the movie become somewhat more watchable. Now go and kill the man who thought showing all the good bits of the movie (anything with a monster larger than a Boing 747 in it) in the trailer, and endless leaked clips and pictures on the net and the movie falls into what I like to call the Doom Zone. I.E. take the brain out of elitist mode, and enjoy the stupid fun. Then put it in, and forget you ever saw it. Or play God of War.
But at the very least it deserves more than a two word review, one of which was a cuss. I’m not gonna say it’s the best movie ever, but it’s nowhere near as bad as Drag Me to Hell. Plus… it needs more skeleton warriors.
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